Wishing everyone the merriest of Christmases. Even if it's not your holiday, I hope you have a great end to this week. Next week brings us a New Year with lots of hopes and wishes for better things for all as we enter a new decade. Celebrate, have fun, take time to enjoy and make memories. Be safe!

Peace on Earth, Good will Towards ALL Men (Women and children too!)

When the Unexpected Happens....

I'm a bit behind the 8 ball now..... Hope your holidays are coming along and that you are taking time to ENJOY them.

Thanksgiving in our house was a little overwhelming as we found my 82 year old mom had spent the night before in the tub and couldn't get out. She was in remarkably good shape despite this. Spent a couple of days in the hospital (without an answer to why she fainted) and we had our turkey in the ER.

I spent a few days and nights with her and we figured out some things....

Now we have a web cam (granny cam) installed so we can "spy" on her (even works from my smart phone) and make sure she doesn't do that again! (We chose the Panasonic model.) We didn't opt for the typical answer of the little necklace life alert mechanism because it would be in the bedroom or the kitchen or somewhere, and she'll be down somewhere else in the house. Her income is VERY FIXED and even $30/mo for this service would be too much esp. if she doesn't use it right.

There are similar systems that don't have installation fees and a monthly cost. They don't connect to a live person; they simply dial programmed numbers until it get's a response. Some only dial 911. That isn't always what you need and can prove costly for non-urgent issues. We're investigating them. I'll let you know if they work out. I've added several to the Aging Parents Amazon Store if you want to check them out.

She has cordless phones and we have placed them in better access areas. One sits on the bath bench in the bathroom gets swapped out daily so it's always charged and ready. It's not waterproof of course and so she moves it away from the spray, and (hopefully) keeps it within easy reach. We keep a reacher in the tub area too.

We're in more frequent phone contact. Most of all she has been given a new set of exercises to do every day forever now by the home health PT to help strengthen her muscles. This has made the biggest difference. (Thanks Charlene!!!) The few visits she was allowed worked wonders!!!

The shower water has to be cooler so it doesn't make her BP drop. (She loves it way too hot!) She HAS to eat! And she has to drink more liquids. No coffee doesn't count, in fact it dehydrates you. (Dehydration and not eating much that day contributed to her fainting and falling. Perhaps a heart problem, but nothing has been detected as yet. )

She tried to tell me one day she had drunk 2 (16 oz.) glasses of water in the kitchen plus her 2 cups of coffee. Well the web cam told me there had been no glass on her TV tray, and no dirty glasses in the kitchen told rest of the story..... caught ya Mom!!!! So now she knows she can't get away with that!

We know that this isn't the perfect solution and things WILL change again sooner than we like, but she still has her independence for now. Moving to my house wouldn't solve it. Assisted living is out of the financial picture.

Like giving up driving, it would be another big step towards dependence and she would again decline rapidly. That isn't essential just yet. Might be one day soon, or maybe not for awhile. We'll take it one day at a time and be prepraed to make more changes as we have to. Meanwhile Mom has her dog and her TV as loud as she wants it.... CNN all day long and OLD movies when she tires of the same old news stories.

God love her she's healthy and that helps and hinders the situation in various ways. The economy sucks and we don't have many choices. Everyone's story will be different, and yet in so many ways the same.......

It's holiday time and we may only have this one left with Mom so we will make the most of it. Make memories with your loved ones this year. Take some time for yourself too!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. Make wonderful memories today and give thanks for your family and friends.

Medicare Open Enrollment

Medicare's Open Enrollment started last week and continues through December 31. It's time to review all of the options for your elders in their health care options. Medicare has a great setup on their site to explain the differences and provide comparisons.

Each plan can be confusing and each one gives you some great propaganda. Secure Horizons ran a campaign a few years back promising everyone in the local senior "village" that they would have lifetime coverage if they needed a nursing home under this plan. Of course they didn't mention that "lifetime" span had to be their last couple of weeks on earth! So be sure to read the small print and ask lots of questions. The choice become effective Jan.1 and can't be changed until next year.

Look into options for medications, equipment etc. There are varying amounts of copays and coverage rules under each plan.

Are You Caring for a Veteran?

The average caregiver today is most likely a member of the Baby Boom generation (born between 1946 and 1964) which means many of us had parents, aunts, uncles, and perhaps siblings or cousins who served in WWII. We honor them and their memories today on Veteran’s Day.

We also honor ALL veterans for the many sacrifices they have made and make each and every day to keep us safe. Freedom indeed is not Free!!! Thank you!!!!

If you are caring for someone who was a War veteran, or is the spouse or widow/er of a veteran, you might want to check out these resources (Veteran’s Angels OR the American Association for Wartime Veterans) for TAX FREE financial assistance in the care of that person if they meet eligibility requirements.

Another terrific and often overlooked resource is Cleaning for a Reason, a great service to anyone undergoing chemotherapy or other cancer treatment. It’s also a wonderful place to volunteer if you run a cleaning service.

As we work our way towards the holidays, please remember to take some time for YOU! It’s also flu season and if you let yourself get rundown you are much more susceptible colds and flu. Wash your hands often and then wash them again! Stay well!!

It’s probably more important to be organized this time of the year as well. And learn to Delegate. Others may not do it as well as you would, but it’s done. Be grateful and move forward! Take time to enjoy the smells of the season and the memories. Make a few more with your loved ones and rejoice!

photo from stock.xchng.com

A Nice Plug for the Book

Received a mention of The Everything Guide to Caring for Aging Parents in the Best Bets Book section from Bess Pinon, the Library News program coordinator of OregonLive.com today. Thanks!!

Caregiver Fatigue: Take Time for YOU

Well it's been awhile since my last post. As any of you who are helping to care for aging parents know...sometimes you get overwhelmed and lose focus. So this is probably a good time to talk about doing something for YOU.

Caregiver fatigue (also known as burnout) is a common problem for anyone who works in the health care field or cares for loved ones full or part time. In actuality this can apply to almost anyone at any time of their life. For example, in new mothers we attribute it to post partum depression or at the least sleep deprivation.

Whatever you term it as, the point is that you can't go full steam ahead for endless periods of time without taking a break. And you can't feel guilty that you need this break!!!! It's just a fact of life and you have to deal with it and need to plan for it. If you try to be a super hero and keep going despite the fatigue don't be surprised if things begin to go wrong.

You may become impatient, you may become a klutz, or make mental errors. Your ability to cope and handle any situation will be challenged to the limits. In reality, you put yourself at risk, and you put your elder at risk as well.

In order to best take care of someone else you MUST take care of YOU as well. And you need to ensure that you remain part of the solution and don't become part of the problem. Yes that means YOU. No one gets a pass on this one. Everyone needs to be sure to take some time for themselves.

So you need to plan for this either by making arrangements with other family members to spell you, or to hire someone for some respite care. And if other family members are unable or unwilling to help out, then they should help to shoulder the expense. And this may not be an easy thing to convince them of. Until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, it may never seem as difficult as it really is.

Meanwhile, you need to do little things for yourself to minimize the fatigue as well. This can be as simple as taking a mental break several times a day. Walk outside, or go into a separate room and close the door. Take some deep breaths, close your eyes and escape on a mental vacation to your favorite places. Then stop and rethink the tasks at hand for the next few hours. How can you work smarter and not harder to accomplish your tasks and goals. What two things can you do at the same time so that you can sit for awhile or maybe get a nap?

Try to anticipate needs and save yourself some steps. When you make meals, make enough to freeze some for another day, or to feed your own family as well as your elders. Look for shortcuts that will save you time, but not cost you more in the long run.

Rest when you're tired, and make it be a rest period, not just a slow down. And get some time for you.