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How much care is needed?
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How much care can you afford?
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How involved do you want to be?
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Where is the care going to happen?
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Are there any pre-existing directives for care?
All of these are outstanding questions, but they can also be a
little intimidating to answer. Today, I’m going to walk you through the process
of answering these questions and ultimately making a decision you’ll be happy
with.
How Much Care Is Needed?
There’s no point in worrying about the care itself until you
know how much of it you need - a senior who only needs a few pills each week
probably doesn’t need a live-in assistant! Unfortunately, this question is
difficult to answer because none of us know how much care we’re actually going
to need in the last decade or two of our life.
As such, the best
thing to do is talk to your doctor each time there’s a major change in your
loved one’s condition and ask about the kind of help and care they’ll need.
Once you know how much care is needed, you can start focusing on the other
questions.
How Much Care Can You Afford?
Not every household can afford the very best in medical
treatments - but families often find themselves on the hook for payments if
their normal claims are denied. Cost is a real factor in end-of-life care
decisions, but it doesn’t have to be as frightening as you think, especially
when you know how to keep things on a budget.
Once you know what you need,
you can start looking to see how much it costs - and check to see if there are
alternative payments or more affordable alternatives. For example, a permanent
live-in caregiver could be quite costly, but someone who only visits for an
hour or two every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday could be far easier to fit into
your budget.
The most important thing is getting the care your loved ones actually need - and with a little bit of
training, chances are you can give most of that care yourself if necessary.
How Involved Do You Want To Be?
The advice I’ve just given assumes that you want to be involved
in caring for your loved ones as they continue to age - but that’s not true for
every family. Some people honestly don’t want to see the ravages of problems
like disease and dementia, preferring to only create happy memories.
This is a personal decision, and there are no right or wrong
answers. However, you should keep in mind that the more you’re willing to do
yourself, the less the care is likely to cost you. You can also split the care
between several members of your family - if each of you visits on a different
day of the week, you could provide steady and regular care without the stress
of doing it yourself every single day.
Where Is The Care Going To Happen?
The answer to this question is dictated mainly by the answers
to the three above it. Some types of health care require being in a hospital or other long-term care facility, while
others can easily be administered at home with little or no trouble. It’s worth
noting that as seniors continue to age, they’re more likely to need permanent
supervision of some kind - even if you’re willing to live with them for now,
you may want to have a plan for transferring them to a nursing home or other
facility at some point.
Are There Any Pre-Existing Directives For Care?
In a way, this is the most important question to ask - because
some people don’t want extra care.
They may not want to be kept on life support, or continue to stick around if
they’re completely bedridden and rapidly going downhill anyway. This is
especially true if they’re in a great deal of pain.
It’s best to follow these advance decisions as much as
possible. This allows your loved ones to stay in control of their medical
decisions - and allows you to know
that even if their minds are fading now, they’d be happy that you did what they
asked. However, remember that they may change their minds as they continue to
age, and that they’re allowed to do so as long as they remain legally competent
to make their own decisions. Consider revisiting their advance decisions
annually to see if there are any changes they’d like to see made - and stay
informed about the rules and regulations for advance directives.
Originally born in Flagstaff, Arizona, Felicity Dryer was raised by her parents (more or less modern-day hippies) to always make her health a top priority. She moved to Los Angeles to pursue her career as a freelance health writer, and continues to help those seeking encouragement to keep moving forward to achieve their goals.
Thanks Felicity!