Exciting News! I have been informed that this blog has been selected by Feedspot.com as one of the Top 60 Aging Blogs. Check out the entire list. I am humbled and honored to be recognized among such great blogs.
Friday, March 21, 2025
Thursday, February 13, 2025
Harmony at Home: How to Make Multi-generational Living Work
Living in a multi-generational home with grandparents, parents, and children under one roof can be both a challenge and a gift. When done right, it strengthens family bonds, creates a sense of belonging, and even makes financial sense. The key to making multi-generational living work? Finding the right balance between privacy and connection. By embracing shared responsibilities, open communication, and a mix of tradition and modern solutions, families can create harmony in a a space where every generation feels at home.
Clear Clutter with Digital Organization With multiple generations under one roof, space can get tight fast. One simple way to cut down on clutter is by digitizing important documents. Turning paperwork into digital files frees up space and makes it so much easier to stay organized. With tools for a free PDF converter, you can save everything from medical records to family recipes on a shared drive instead of digging through stacks of paper. Free online tools make organization effortless, keeping your home tidy and stress-free.
Bring Generations Together Through Cooking Few things bring people together like food. Setting up weekly family cooking nights is a great way to bond while passing down traditions. Grandparents can share treasured recipes, while younger family members introduce new flavors and techniques. These gatherings are more than just about food—they’re about storytelling, teamwork, and preserving cultural heritage. Plus, cooking together naturally leads to healthier eating habits since meals are homemade and often more nutritious. It’s a delicious way to connect, learn, and create lasting memories.
Use Technology to Stay Connected Technology can make it easier for different generations to stay connected—when it’s used the right way. Group chats and shared calendars help keep everyone on the same page, from planning get-togethers to sharing little daily updates. But screens shouldn’t take the place of real conversations, so setting some boundaries is key. Using secure platforms keeps things private while making communication simple. When there’s a good mix of digital and in-person connection, technology becomes a helpful tool instead of a constant distraction.
Start a Family Business Together One of the best ways to bond and bring in extra income is by launching a family business. Think about low-cost ventures like drop shipping, handmade crafts, or even a small online store that everyone can contribute to in some way. Having a plan that lays out who’s doing what, what the goals are, and how the money works makes everything a lot easier. Setting up a California LLC through ZenBusiness adds a layer of protection, so you’re not worrying about personal assets if things get messy. But really, a family business is about more than just making money—it’s about figuring things out together, learning as you go, and creating something that actually means something.
Make Life Easier with Smart Home Features Smart home tech isn’t just for the younger crowd—it can make life easier for everyone. Voice assistants can handle reminders, shopping lists, and even play music or audio books. Smart thermostats and lights make things more convenient while cutting down on energy use. For older family members, automated lighting and security features add an extra layer of safety and independence. When it’s set up right, a smart home helps everyone, from kids to grandparents, feel more comfortable and connected.
Design Shared Spaces with Everyone in Mind A home that feels right for every generation comes down to thoughtful design. It’s about creating a balance—space to be together and space to be alone when needed. Mixing in artwork, music, and books from different eras adds character and keeps family history alive. A warm, inviting living room or a dining area that works for everything from meals to game nights helps bring everyone together. When the layout makes sense for all ages, the home feels natural, comfortable, and connected.
Turn the Backyard into a Learning Space A great way to keep younger family members engaged is by creating a backyard garden. Gardening teaches kids about responsibility, patience, and the environment while giving older generations a chance to pass down their knowledge. Getting the whole family involved in planting, tending, and harvesting turns the process into a shared experience. Plus, it’s a great way to enjoy fresh, homegrown produce. Spending time outdoors and working together strengthens bonds while promoting a healthy lifestyle.
Strengthen Family Ties Through Community Involvement Spending time together outside the house makes a big difference. Volunteering, joining a community garden, or just showing up for local events brings everyone closer and makes life feel more connected. Even simple things like a walk in the park, an outdoor movie, or helping out at a charity event can turn into great memories. Getting involved in the community doesn’t just strengthen family bonds—it also makes home feel like part of something bigger.
Living in a multi-generational home means balancing independence and connection. The ultimate goal is to blend tradition with modern comforts while making room for both personal space and shared moments. The proper design, a little smart tech, and quality time together can help create a home that works for everyone. It’s no longer just a house when each person feels valued and supported—it’s a home where everyone can truly thrive.
Navigate the challenges of caring for aging loved ones confidently—visit AgingParents.com for expert advice, compassionate support, and practical tools to bring peace to your family today.
Image via Freepik
Thursday, January 2, 2025
Happy New Year 2025!
Another new year is upon us. Happy New Year 2025!
I hope you all had Happy Holidays whatever you celebrate and are settling in to more normal times. The news was scary yesterday with the terrorist attack in New Orleans and the explosion of the Tesla truck in Las Vegas in front of Trump Tower. I hope this is not an indication of how 2025 is going to go!!! Hoping for a much more peaceful year throughout the world!
Dealing with aging relatives and being sandwiched between caring for them and your growing children and or grandchildren presents enough challenges and issues! Please be sure to take time for YOU! Make that one of your goals, intentions, and even resolutions for this new year. Resolutions tend to fade quickly as a new year presents itself, so I really tend to push the ideas of goals and intentions. These you can revisit daily, weekly or monthly and make them actually happen! Self care is so very important as you cannot give from an empty well.You must take time out and do something to replenish your strength and energy!
One way of working on self-care is to journal about your experiences. Journals can be private and personal or you can choose to share them with your trusted humans. They often carry a connotation of being something more complex that you may feel you do not have time for with your overwhelming responsibilities. But might I suggest an easy one for you...
I needed something short and simple for myself and from my memory banks as a nurse I dug out some ideas to design my own. Something that I have always suggested to new and seasoned nurses is to write down those moments with patients that make your day. Of course nurses have to be acutely aware of confidentiality and HIPAA regulations, so we have to get creative about capturing the moment and keeping the details secret. I hope I have made a journal that could work for you as well.
Then there a few lined pages for the month to write a few short sentences or paragraphs about good memories as they happen. One thing I know for certain about caring for my aging parents and in-laws as well as adult children and grandchildren is that during overwhelming and stressful time, you don't remember things as clearly. Some of the great moments might be in there somewhere, but my brain seems like it lost them. Taking just a few minutes before bedtime even just to write down a few cryptic notes helps me hang on to things I do remember from the past as well as new memories from each day.
Journaling can actually help you to relax and release tension, stress and emotions. It can also help you to brainstorm and find solutions, and share the successes you have experienced in dealing with aging parents. Bookmark important passages so you can look back and see how well you have managed the journey, important memories, and tips for making your journey easier!
My Self-Care Journal is available on Amazon.com in paperback format. The price was recently reduced. If you make a purchase, I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd come back and write a quick review. Or drop a comment here. And of course share the link with someone you know who could use some self-care too!
Here's to a more stress-free new year!
Happy 2025!
Monday, December 11, 2023
Exploring ECDOL: A Comprehensive Senior Resource Webpage and Living Directory
ECDOL stands for Excellent Care, Decency, & Optimal Living. We aim to help seniors and their families find the most reliable and appropriate independent living, assisted living, and home healthcare options. Family and seniors can access an extensive directory to choose their state and find senior living options and by province in Canada. Our directory includes contact information for facilities in your region so you can quickly contact a senior care provider to see if they are the right fit for you or your aging loved one. We also include services provided, amenities, and housing features for each facility. We believe it is crucial to have reliable and accurate resources. Finding the right senior living and caregiving options can be challenging, and we want to help seniors and families make informed decisions.
ECDOL's Senior Resources
There is a range of resources available on the ECDOL website. Initially, the directory details some of the senior living and caregiving options available in each state. We describe the different types of senior living and healthcare options in the United States. Our helpful resources for aging adults provide valuable insight into what seniors may struggle with and offer practical tips and information. We want to support seniors and their families with up-to-date information to help them make informed decisions. The navigation is user-friendly; everything can be reached with one mouse click. The resources offer detailed information.
Senior Living Directory on ECDOL
The senior living directory gives a brief introduction for each state. It also lists different independent living and assisted living communities in the state. Each listing provides information on the types of services provided, the amenities available, and the different housing options. When using the directory, it’s a good idea to have an idea of what state would be considered or a city or community within the state. It’s also ideal to know what type of care options are needed and begin contacting facilities. There are numbers listed on the directory, along with services, amenities, and housing features. All of this information helps to make an informed decision. Personalizing search options like this helps families find the right options based on location, amenities, and care needs.
Highlighted Resource: Seniors Guide to Fentanyl
Our Seniors Guide to Fentanyl is a printable three-fold pamphlet that offers an understanding of fentanyl, its threat, and how to have conversations with adult children and grandchildren. The fentanyl epidemic has shown no signs of slowing down, and it has impacted every age demographic. As the population ages, an increasing number of older adults will be affected by problematic opioid use and opioid use disorders. Studies have shown that substance use among older adults is a concern that is often under diagnosed. The prevalence of opioid use disorders among older adults tripled from 2013 to 2018. While the rates of diagnosed opioid use disorders are relatively small among older adults, exposure is not uncommon. The Seniors Guide to Fentanyl aims to provide valuable information, tips, and resources to help seniors and their families. This includes tips for recognizing the signs of fentanyl use, having conversations with grandchildren, and how to speak to adult children about fentanyl.
Conclusion
Overall, ECDOL wants to empower seniors with information they can use to make informed decisions. We want to help families and their older loved ones with accurate and current information they can use to find the very best senior living and caregiving options. We want to encourage everyone who visits the website to use the directory, explore the resources, and read the information. We strive to keep information current and examine what problems impact seniors. Educational information plays a vital role in supporting the well-being of anyone. We believe it can be particularly valuable for seniors and their families. It’s important for anyone who visits this website to come to a point where they can make informed decisions that benefit themselves and their families.
Wednesday, October 11, 2023
What Options Do I Have When My Loved One is Suddenly Hospitalized and Cannot Return Home?
I've seen so many social media posts lately asking about what to do with their loved one who is in the hospital and really should not return to their own home. The first step should be to contact the Case Manager (CM) or discharge planner, as we called them in the "Olden Days." If you don't know who that is, ask the nurse taking care of your loved one. S/he can arrange for the CM to contact you. Then you can begin discussing options and short and long term plans for your loved one.
Is Rehab Care an option?
Possibilities may include some rehab time in a skilled nursing facility where they will get nursing care along with daily physical and perhaps occupational therapy to follow up from the hospital plan. Speech therapy is another rehab service that your loved one might require in the event of a stroke or other speech or swallowing disruption. The attending physician must order this, your loved one must meet certain criteria such as having real rehab potential. Be prepared for resistance because your loved one "just wants to go home." Discuss the benefits to them and to you and investigate your options.
Medicare will pay up to 100 days per calendar year for rehab stay after a qualifying 3 day hospitalization. This is typically for patients who have suffered an injury with or without fractures, a stroke, surgical interventions, and/or de-conditioning due to a hospital stay for an illness such as COVID or pneumonia. Eligibility requirements must be met. The rehab only continues if your loved one makes measurable progress towards goals. Another CM will follow your loved one through the rehab process at the facility. This is usually the social worker or other designated person at the facility. Ask who will be assisting with review of your loved one's case. Be sure to meet with them at admission and discuss your goals, concerns and needs so they can be assessed and worked on while your loved one is in the facility and not the day before, or of, discharge!
Home Health Care Option
Another option is to take your loved one home either to your home or to their own home with a caregiver. The CM should have helped and advised you to find, and hire said caregiver. Or you or a friend or relative may choose to be the caregiver at least for the time being. In addition, your loved one’s primary physician should order home health care visits from a nurse and any necessary therapists to evaluate the living situation, home safety issues, instruct in medications, provide any nursing care such as wound care, and therapists will provide a home exercise program for rehabilitation purposes.
Home health agencies may also offer services from a home health aide for personal care and hygiene, and a social worker for assistance with short and long term care planning. Understand first and foremost that the home health care professionals do not substitute for caregivers. Home health care is not a caregiving solution. Custodial care is not covered by Medicare or insurances.
These services are intermittent visits from nurses, therapists, aide, or social workers. Medicare and private insurances cover the service. There may be a copayment as well as limitations as set by the insurance carrier. The primary requirement is for your loved one to require SKILLED care from a licensed healthcare provider (nurse or therapist) and make measurable gains towards goals. If the skilled care need ends or patient meets goals, or stops making progress, the home health care will be discontinued. It’s not designed to be a long term process or solution. The main goal of home health care is to teach the patient and caregiver how to provide the care necessary and discharge.
The nurses, therapists and aides will make visits that typically last 30-60 minutes and are usually spaced 1-3 times a week, depending on the skill and needs. As a home health nurse, many times I found patients expecting me to be a companion or a personal caregiver when I arrived. I was greeted with expectations and assignments such as washing dishes, washing out underwear, or vacuuming. Indeed, these were needs, but they don’t require the education and skill of an RN to perform. While I usually tried my best to help that one time, not every nurse will do this, and it is not to be expected!
Role of the Home Health Nurse
The role of the home health nurse is to be the eyes and ears for the physician, to assess the home situation for safety and whether it meets the level of care the patient requires. The RN will assess vital signs including any pain or other signs or symptoms, discuss nutrition, assess hygiene needs, and medication compliance and understanding. If the patient requires and specific treatments such as wound care, the nurse will perform and instruct the patient and/or any willing and able caregiver in how to perform and what to report to the MD. The nurse will report to the physician and discuss any additional care needed such as Physical. Occupational or Speech/Language therapy and a home health aide or social worker. The nurse and the patient and family will work together to establish a plan of care and work together to achieve goals to make the patient as independent as possible with the best possible quality of life.
Resources
You will find many posts on this blog about finding and hiring care givers and where to find assistance to pay for it. Search in the box at the top on the Left sidebar. Check with your CM at the hospital, and if ordered, your home health social worker. Local chapters for disease specific organizations such as Alzheimer’s, Cancer, Lung Diseases, Heart Disease, and others can give you direction and resources. Your local senior citizens agency. The Veteran’s association is a great resource if your loved one served in the armed forces during a war such as WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, or Afghanistan, but use the official organization. Many home health agencies may often have a private duty care division to meet your caregiving needs. This would be private pay as well.
Friday, April 21, 2023
Make Sure EOL Wishes Are Known!
This person was found dead in a wellness check that a neighbor called for. The coroner was called. So fortunately, there was no need for medical advice or attempts at resuscitation. But had s/he been found alive, apparently not having a Power of Attorney for Healthcare would have been an issues had s/he not been able to voice choices at the time.
Missed Opportunities- Don't Delay Decisions
In this situation, the person had begun vague discussions about EOL wishes, but was only seeking preliminary information. No discussion happened regarding a health care power of attorney, burial wishes or any plans already in place, and certainly not wishes for division of the estate. S/he became totally overwhelmed with the little information provided and wasn't able to complete even the simplest of tasks. So now, we're caught starting from scratch. Of course there is some money involved and that will bring out the worst in some of the relatives no doubt.
This matter has been, and will continue to be very sticky. It will be a long, drawn out process. Just hoping for no objections and in-fighting about what actually happens now. It has already taken significant time and that will impact some of the first decisions.
These situations are not rare and my hope is that you will each resolve these items before it become a sticky mess for you.
In my experience as a home health and hospice nurse for years, I have had to initiate the uncomfortable discussions all too often when time was of the essence. Death and dying is not a comfortable subject for everyday conversation, but the truth is we will all die at some point. Most of us may have strong feelings about burial vs cremation and whether or not to have a simple service, or a huge event. Some decisions are influenced by cultural beliefs and customs. No matter what the decisions, they will incur expenses that aren't always planned for or paid in advance.
In this case, we have no idea if there were any plans and if any were prepaid. It will be a real shame if there were prepaid plans and we are unable to discover them. End-of-Life (EOL) Estate planning does not have to be complicated.
Start with Simple EOL Decisions
If only the bare minimum of decisions are made and made known to multiple family members, it can be a great start and very helpful for navigating the more complex EOL issues. There are numerous EOL related legal forms and software on NOLO.com to help you understand and expedite the process. They also have books to guide the process, and a network of attorneys if you so choose.
Probate attorneys can be your best friend, but be aware that they are expensive. Finding a probate attorney can be a long process as well. Probates can take 18 months to 2 years on average to complete and that's a big commitment for the legal team as well as the administrator or executor.
I encourage you to begin the conversation in casual, comfortable situation. Ask simple questions about whether your loved one has even thought about what they would like done. Make sure EOL wishes are known!
- Do they want to be cremated or buried? Or have other ideas? Have they made any arrangements? Do the research. There are many affordable options that get overlooked when decisions have to be made on the spot. Or perhaps your loved one wants something lavish. Is there money set aside, or an insurance policy to cover these costs?
- Have they considered how to disperse assets and any property or other items? Having a living trust can make this all much easier than going to probate.
- Have they considered appointing a Power of Attorney for Health Care?
- Have they thought about their EOL health care decisions?
Other Things to Make this Easier
Other issues to get in order will include things like making a list of their bank account numbers and information, any investments, a list of property, and any wishes regarding who should inherit what. What to do with person effects. They don't have to share this, but put the information in a spot where it can be found when needed.
There are procedures that can make things easier should they become incapacitated or pass away such as adding your name to their accounts so that a smooth transition can be made. For instance, adding your name to your loved one's utility accounts can make it easier to make changes such as shutting service off or transferring it to your name, Also have them make sure beneficiary information is up to date on policies such as insurance policies, retirement accounts like 401k's and any stocks or bonds and other assets.Consult an attorney for any questions you have to ensure it all gets done the way you want it.
While you're helping your loved ones make these decisions and completing forms, check out the forms and processes you need for your estate as well.
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