Caregiver Education and Tips for Time Management

Sorry I have been missing for a bit. I've been quite busy on a few projects. Hope to share one with you soon. 

COVID Challenges Continue

COVID has presented so many challenges to all of us the past year and a half, especially with family responsibilities. It's not letting up like we hoped. I hope you have all been able to muddle through it and stay safe and well. The Delta variant is quite virulent and presents huge risks to the unvaccinated and to those who are immunocompromised. It's very important to be careful and not take any unnecessary risks. Your aging loved ones are always quite vulnerable; even those who have been fully vaccinated. So please take precautions. 

SELF CARE

I also want to remind you to be sure to do something just for YOU to provide some replenishing self-care. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate. Find a great book and a beautiful spot to sit and read for an hour. 

Course for Caregivers

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you of my course for caregivers of aging loved ones on Teachable.com. It's $12 and about 2 hours of listening and caregiver education and valuable time- management tips. 

You can multi-task and listen while you accomplish something else. There are Power Point slides, but if you need to, just put on your headphones, or air pods in, and just listen. You can also purchase my book, The Everything Guide to Caring for Aging Parents on Amazon.com. It's available in a limited supply of paperback or download on Kindle.

 

  

 

You Won't Know What You Don't Know...

At the risk of sounding too much like Yogi Berra (famous catcher for the Yankees), when it comes to caring for aging parents and loved ones, you won't know what you don't know until you know it.

We learned very quickly when we had children that they don't come with an instruction book. Parenting is about winging it most of the time, and sharing your successes and failures with your peers.

In the same way, aging loved ones don't come with instructions either. And many of the predicaments can be much more difficult to maneuver. In many ways it becomes even more important  to network with friends, family, co-workers, etc. to learn what they know that once they didn't know they needed to know either.


This is just one of the reasons I wrote the book The Everything Guide to Caring for Aging Parents; to share my experiences from both sides of the fence. As a home health and hospice nurse for over 30 years, I think I've seen and helped families cope with almost every scenario. And as a daughter/daughter-in-law with aging parents, I have lived through many of these experiences myself.  I hope you find it helpful!

Enjoying the Holidays with Loved Ones

The holidays are almost upon us and they can be stressful in the best of times. If you're also caring for aging parents, there are many other things to think about such as how to safely get them to and from your celebrations. They may tire out quickly and have to be taken home early. Be prepared. If they have diaper issues, you'll need to make sure you have plenty and bring a change of clothing along-- just in case.

Make sure you plan for toileting every couple of hours and if someone has to assist, add that to the to-do list to enlist someone to help. Perhaps they will need some assistance with eating or need their food cut up, chopped or even pureed. Allow time for this and assign someone to assist with this. Make sure you have any medications that need to be taken during their outing. And plan for bad weather causing you to get shut in.

The holidays can also be a time to reminisce and make sure that stories and traditions get handed down. Ask them about their childhood, where they lived and went to school. When did they marry? What kind of work did they do? Where did they live? what did they do for entertainment (before television, video games and the internet!!)?  Maybe have a video camera running in the background to capture some of these moments. And be sure to always take lots of family group photos. Make lots of memories, as they help keep loved ones alive in our hearts when they are gone.

Take time for yourself, and remember that there is NO SUCH THING as a perfect holiday. Being with the ones we love and enjoying their company and a few laughs is the perfection you can expect. The best holidays are the ones that everyone remembers, and they often stand out for their imperfections! So relax and enjoy!!

Photo by monmart

What's YOUR Plan?

Yesterday I heard an interview on NPR's Talk of the Nation with Amy Dickinson a syndicated Columnist for the Chicago Tribune (Ask Amy). The topic was How to Talk to Your Parents About Assisted Living. In the course of the conversation she said that she and her sister had a plan. Their plan was that no one in their family would ever get old or frail. I had to laugh.

How many of us have had the same exact plan? And how many of you still do? It's a wonderful plan.....until the crisis hits and it all falls apart in a matter of nano-seconds right before your very eyes.

If we could all be healthy and strong and age gracefully and just go to sleep one night and not wake up. we would never be a burden, never have to lose our independence, never have to rely on someone else to help us with each and every one of our ADLs. But that happens once in a million.

The reality is that you can have this as your plan, but you've got to have a Plan B for when it all falls apart. It's kind of like dreading having the sex talk with your kids. It's something you MUST do and the sooner you get to it, the easier things will be for the next one. Because it doesn't end with just one talk. Neither does dealing with your aging parents.

Getting started talking is the hard part, from there it will get easier even if they are the most stubborn and resistant people on the face of the earth! Plan a family gathering and plot with your siblings, children and other significant helpers to make it about talking to Mom and Dad. And if you can do it long before it becomes a reality.... you'll have some ideas of what will work and what's going to be impossible. Heck, they might even surprise you....

Refer to Chapter 2 in my book, The Everything Guide to Caring for Aging Parents, for some hints about how to get started, and how to see things from their side first.

Don't put it off.... start making a plan today.