Ways In: Picking Up Something New That Might Stick

 

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Ways In: Picking Up Something New That Might Stick 

There’s a particular silence that happens when hands are full. Not the dramatic kind—just a quieter sort of thinking. It might be a brush hitting canvas, or kneading dough until the stickiness changes. Could be code. Could be chords. The point isn’t what it is. The point is that something happens when people start making time for a thing that doesn’t demand perfection. Hobbies aren’t always tidy. They don’t start with clarity or finish with mastery. Sometimes they’re just... a way back into your own mind. 

Being Around Others Without Trying So Hard  

Some people ease into connection through words. Others don’t. But when everyone’s learning the same thing—ceramics, chess, whatever—it doesn’t matter much. The conversation comes later, or not at all. And somehow, it still counts. There’s a kind of rhythm in proximity. Research backs it, sure—engaging in hobbies improves mood and connection. But you don’t need studies to notice how showing up, doing something with your hands, helps people stop pretending to be fine. 

The Local Stuff Hiding in Plain Sight 

Most towns—small, big, in-between—have places where people gather and do things that don’t involve watching each other eat. Might be a sewing circle at the library, a 3D printer tutorial at the co-op, or an open mic that leans more weird than polished. And those spots? They work, because they’re structured without being stiff. Turns out, structured activities support meeting new people. It's not about networking. It’s about bumping into the same faces, enough times that eventually someone says, “Hey, you coming next week?” 

Tech Isn’t Just for Professionals 

Programming feels big from the outside. But a surprising number of people just poke at it out of curiosity—build tiny websites, automate to-do lists, mod their games. And then keep going. There’s structure available when the casual part gets boring. Some programs (especially flexible online ones) offer a low-barrier way to turn that hobby into something formal. This may be a good option to consider if the itch to “figure out how things work” doesn’t go away. 

Creative Work Loosens the Screws 

It doesn’t have to be “good.” That’s the trick. Messy collage, off-key singing, whatever weird craft thing with resin and glitter—if it makes you focus just enough to forget the outside noise, that’s the medicine. Creative output, especially the kind done regularly, helps regulate emotions. Not in a self-help way. More like giving the mind something to chew on that isn’t worry. 

Places That Start Online, But Don’t Stay There  

There’s a soft landing in digital hobby spaces. Reddit threads about model trains. Discord channels full of embroidery fanatics. Not everything needs to be hyperlocal. Sometimes, comfort builds slowly in group chats before anyone meets in real life—if they meet at all. Still counts. There’s data showing community involvement supports mental health, and it doesn’t care whether it happened in person or across a comment thread. Engagement is engagement. 

Move Without Making It a Thing 

Exercise is a loaded word. Hobbies that happen to involve movement? Easier to swallow. A bike ride that turns into a habit. Indoor climbing because the walls are colorful. Pickleball, for reasons unknown. Movement doesn't need to be tracked or timed to matter. It’s already known that active hobbies can improve mental and physical health. What’s less said: some people won’t move until they find a reason that isn’t shame or pressure. Hobbies give that reason. 

Learning in Groups Does Something Quiet 

There’s a click that happens in shared confusion. That moment in a language class when everyone’s stuck on the same verb. Or during a woodworking session where half the group misreads the measurements. Mistakes bond people faster than small talk. In those rooms, belief in your ability sneaks up on you. It’s part of why learning communities build self-efficacy and engagement. It’s not about becoming a master. It’s about believing that maybe, with time, you could. 

It’s Not About the Hobby 

People chase new skills like they’ll fix something. But the thing that shifts isn’t always skill—it’s mood, it’s confidence, it’s the shape of a day. Picking up a hobby isn’t always a leap. Sometimes it’s a slow roll into remembering you liked puzzles. Or color. Or being near other humans while doing something pointless and fun. These aren’t solutions. They’re starting points. And that’s enough. 

Discover invaluable resources and expert advice on caring for your aging loved ones by visiting About Aging Parents.

From Annabelle Harris at the Elders Center 

Caring From Afar: How to Support an Aging Parent When You're Travelling

 

You’ve planned the flights, packed the bags, and finally carved out time to get away. But your mind won’t stay put when your parent’s care is still sitting at home. Whether it’s a few days or a few weeks, leaving someone you’re responsible for can pull your focus, raise your stress, and turn rest into a running checklist. That’s normal — and it’s fixable. With a little upfront planning, you can keep care flowing smoothly without being in the room. The goal isn’t to do it all remotely — just to make sure what matters most doesn’t fall through while you’re gone. 

Stay connected without hovering 

Checking in doesn’t mean micromanaging. A quick video call at breakfast, a shared calendar of reminders, or a simple daily message can go a long way. Care apps can help you track visits, medications, and anything urgent, without having to interrupt your trip every hour. Your parent doesn’t need to know every detail — just that you haven’t disappeared. If you both know what to expect and when, the distance feels smaller. It’s about presence, not perfection. 

Let smart tech do quiet work 

Smart home tools can ease the load without adding friction. Motion sensors can track movement (or the lack of it), and voice assistants can help with things like lights, reminders, or emergency calls. It’s not about turning the house into a lab — just reducing the chance of something slipping by. Pill dispensers that beep, door sensors that alert, or fall detectors that send a nudge… these little things matter. They buy time when time matters most. Quiet tools doing their job in the background — that’s what real peace of mind looks like. 

Look into temporary care options 

If you’re going to be gone for more than a few days, respite care might make sense. These short-term setups can happen at home, in a care facility, or at an adult day program. It doesn’t have to be a disruption — sometimes a change of scene is welcome. Think of it like pressing pause, not changing the channel. Choose a place with staff who understand this isn’t a long-term stay. They’ll know how to ease the transition and keep things stable while you’re away. 

Bring in short-term help 

You don’t need a full-time hire to get reliable support. Many caregiving services offer hourly or part-time professionals who can check in daily or assist with key tasks. Try to schedule a meet-and-greet before you leave — even 15 minutes can build familiarity. Leave behind a written list of routines, preferences, and anything quirky they should know. Sometimes, what’s normal to you (like how Mom hates the microwave beeping) isn’t obvious to someone new. The smoother the hand off, the less your phone will ring. 

Handle the paperwork from anywhere 

Being away doesn’t mean you can’t approve a new care plan, sign off on medications, or authorize services. Digital signature tools let you do it all from your laptop or phone, without printing a single page. That way, nothing gets delayed just because you're not at home. Whether it’s a consent form or a scheduling agreement, the ball keeps rolling. That’s not just efficient — it’s reassuring. You stay in the loop without feeling chained to it. Learn more about steps to create a digital signature online. 

Have a backup for your backup 

Even the best plans need a Plan B. What if the power goes out? What if a caregiver cancels? What if your parent doesn’t feel well and doesn’t want to say so over the phone? Build a short list of fallback contacts — someone nearby who can check in, plus a care agency or clinic you trust. Share the list with your parent and whoever is covering while you’re gone. If no one needs it, great. But if they do, you’ve already done the hard part. 

Step away — and let that be okay 

Leaving isn’t abandoning. You’ve already built the care plan, lined up support, and double-checked the details. Now it’s time to let the system breathe without you in it. You’ll still be reachable, still be you — just not tethered to the task list for a few days. That’s not neglect. That’s healthy caregiving with a long view. You don’t stop being a caregiver just because you take a trip — but you can stop carrying it all by yourself. Planning ahead isn’t just about logistics; it’s about trust — in tools, in people, and in your own ability to step back without unraveling the care. Every layer you put in place buys you space to rest, think, and return better. Your parent deserves consistent support. You deserve to come back without feeling like you left everything behind. With the right structure, both can happen. 

Navigate the challenges of caring for aging loved ones with confidence and expert guidance from About Aging Parents. Discover practical tools and compassionate advice to turn family crises into manageable solutions today!

Image from FREEPIK 

 

When Stress Shows Up, Here’s What to Do About It

 

Image: FREEPIK

 

Everyday stress doesn’t always arrive loudly. It builds in background noise, in small irritations, in moments that feel slightly off. You forget to eat lunch, or miss the point of a conversation. You rush tasks that don’t need rushing. You try to wait it out, but the tension lingers. The strategies below offer ways to engage with stress constructively, using practical steps you can return to at any point in your day. 

Use Short Pauses for Recovery 

Recovery doesn’t need ideal conditions. Look at the in-between moments: waiting for a page to load, sitting in traffic, walking to your next thing. These are invitations to exhale. A 30-second pause, a deep breath, or relaxing your hands can nudge your system toward calm. You don’t have to “feel better” instantly — you just need to stop the buildup. Stack these micro-pauses and watch the difference they make by the end of the day. 

Adjust Task Flow to Reduce Friction 

Too many people treat schedules like puzzle boards — squeezing in tasks to fill space. But how your tasks connect matters more than when they happen. Grouping similar activities, avoiding abrupt switches, and ending the day with something smooth can ease mental load. Think in sequences, not silos. This quiets that frantic “what’s next?” loop stress loves to ride. It’s not just how much you’re doing — it’s how you’re moving through it. 

Pause Before Making Stressful Decisions 

Stress makes choices feel heavier. You freeze or react too fast, neither of which feels right. When a decision feels tight, try this: take one slow, deep breath. That pause can loosen the mental grip and shift you from panic to presence. From there, you can see your options more clearly. Better choices start when you interrupt the rush. 

Apply Grounding When Stress Escalates 

Stress escalates fast when left alone. One worry multiplies, then loops, and suddenly your brain’s full of static. Grounding interrupts that spiral. It might be feeling your feet on the floor, breathing into your belly, or noticing the temperature in the room. The trick is to shift focus back into your body or your senses. Grounding doesn’t solve the problem — it just gives you a better place to face it from. 

Use Movement to Reset Physically 

Your body speaks to your brain. When you move — even a stretch, a walk, or ten jumping jacks — you’re sending a signal: “we’re okay.” This can drop stress hormone levels and create a chemical reset. You don’t need a gym. Just movement that’s intentional and a little bit sweaty. Physical activity isn’t just for fitness — it’s stress relief that your biology already understands. 

Recognize Thinking Distortions Early 

Stress distorts how you think. You jump to worst-case scenarios, see things in black and white, or take things too personally. These are cognitive hijacks — patterns that seem real in the moment but collapse when you examine them. The first step is noticing them. The second is questioning them gently, like asking, “Is this the only possible outcome?” This is how you reclaim your thinking under pressure. 

Maintain Daily Habits That Buffer Stress 

Stress isn’t going away, but you can make your system more shock-absorbent. That means getting sleep, staying hydrated, setting limits on digital noise, and creating margins in your schedule. You’re not trying to be perfect — you’re trying to raise your baseline. The higher that baseline, the less often you crash. It’s not flashy, but it works. Small changes compound into stronger stress resistance over time. 

Stress is part of life, but it doesn’t have to take over. Most people wait for a break to deal with it — or a crisis to notice it. These strategies help you step in earlier. They offer a way to respond clearly instead of reacting quickly. You don’t have to do all of them. But one practiced consistently can begin to change how stress moves through your day. 

Discover invaluable resources and expert advice on caring for your aging loved ones by visiting About Aging Parents.

Take Charge and Ensire Your Birthday is the Best

One thing we all have in common is birthdays. We each were birthed from a mother and we each have that special day every year to celebrate us. The details and circumstances are unique to each of us, but we all have birthdays. And we all have the power to make them great birthdays. We deserve it! Take charge and ensure your birthday is the best. 

 How we celebrate, why we celebrate and If we celebrate are also details unique to each of us. I just finished a thought provoking book, How to Have a Happy Birthday Create Meaning, Fulfillment and Joy on Your Special Day by Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming. I was offered the chance to read and review this great book. It's available in Audio, Kindle, Paperback and Hard Cover from Amazon.com. 

If you've ever experienced the Best birthday, the absolute Worst birthday, and many others in between with a whole variety of circumstances and emotions, this will be a great read! Tamar shares her own experiences as well as those from friends, family, colleagues and even strangers she interviewed. I can relate to several instances along the spectrum from the best to worst and in between. 

She shares this book with others in hopes that they will be able to take charge and be responsible for their own birthday experiences. Tamar urges others to "take ownership of your birthday to ensure you have the best possible day. Let yourself be happy and you’ll see how happy your birthday can be!"  

It all seems simple enough, but I know all too well that unless I take charge of it, the daya can go off the rails, be disappointing, not measure up to my hopes and dreams, and I will have allowed myself to be obsessed with perfectionism. The book is filled with great ideas for self-care that can extend far beyond the one day to celebrate You! 

I have a few months before my next birthday, and I'm glad I read this book and have time to change my attitude and hopefully have much better birthdays in my future. For each of you, I have the some hope. Happy Birthday! 

P.S. Make someone else's birthday special and gift them a copy. 

First published on TheNursingSite.com by Kathy Quan RN BSN PHN

  

 

Honors for AboutAgingParents.com

 

Exciting News! I have been informed that this blog has been selected by Feedspot.com as one of the Top 60 Aging Blogs. Check out the entire list. I am humbled and honored to be recognized among such great blogs.

 

Harmony at Home: How to Make Multi-generational Living Work

 

Living in a multi-generational home with grandparents, parents, and children under one roof can be both a challenge and a gift. When done right, it strengthens family bonds, creates a sense of belonging, and even makes financial sense. The key to making multi-generational living work? Finding the right balance between privacy and connection. By embracing shared responsibilities, open communication, and a mix of tradition and modern solutions, families can create harmony in a a space where every generation feels at home.  

Clear Clutter with Digital Organization With multiple generations under one roof, space can get tight fast. One simple way to cut down on clutter is by digitizing important documents. Turning paperwork into digital files frees up space and makes it so much easier to stay organized. With tools for a free PDF converter, you can save everything from medical records to family recipes on a shared drive instead of digging through stacks of paper. Free online tools make organization effortless, keeping your home tidy and stress-free.  

Bring Generations Together Through Cooking Few things bring people together like food. Setting up weekly family cooking nights is a great way to bond while passing down traditions. Grandparents can share treasured recipes, while younger family members introduce new flavors and techniques. These gatherings are more than just about food—they’re about storytelling, teamwork, and preserving cultural heritage. Plus, cooking together naturally leads to healthier eating habits since meals are homemade and often more nutritious. It’s a delicious way to connect, learn, and create lasting memories. 

 Use Technology to Stay Connected Technology can make it easier for different generations to stay connected—when it’s used the right way. Group chats and shared calendars help keep everyone on the same page, from planning get-togethers to sharing little daily updates. But screens shouldn’t take the place of real conversations, so setting some boundaries is key. Using secure platforms keeps things private while making communication simple. When there’s a good mix of digital and in-person connection, technology becomes a helpful tool instead of a constant distraction.  

Start a Family Business Together One of the best ways to bond and bring in extra income is by launching a family business. Think about low-cost ventures like drop shipping, handmade crafts, or even a small online store that everyone can contribute to in some way. Having a plan that lays out who’s doing what, what the goals are, and how the money works makes everything a lot easier. Setting up a California LLC through ZenBusiness adds a layer of protection, so you’re not worrying about personal assets if things get messy. But really, a family business is about more than just making money—it’s about figuring things out together, learning as you go, and creating something that actually means something.  

Make Life Easier with Smart Home Features Smart home tech isn’t just for the younger crowd—it can make life easier for everyone. Voice assistants can handle reminders, shopping lists, and even play music or audio books. Smart thermostats and lights make things more convenient while cutting down on energy use. For older family members, automated lighting and security features add an extra layer of safety and independence. When it’s set up right, a smart home helps everyone, from kids to grandparents, feel more comfortable and connected.  

Design Shared Spaces with Everyone in Mind A home that feels right for every generation comes down to thoughtful design. It’s about creating a balance—space to be together and space to be alone when needed. Mixing in artwork, music, and books from different eras adds character and keeps family history alive. A warm, inviting living room or a dining area that works for everything from meals to game nights helps bring everyone together. When the layout makes sense for all ages, the home feels natural, comfortable, and connected.  

Turn the Backyard into a Learning Space A great way to keep younger family members engaged is by creating a backyard garden. Gardening teaches kids about responsibility, patience, and the environment while giving older generations a chance to pass down their knowledge. Getting the whole family involved in planting, tending, and harvesting turns the process into a shared experience. Plus, it’s a great way to enjoy fresh, homegrown produce. Spending time outdoors and working together strengthens bonds while promoting a healthy lifestyle.  

Strengthen Family Ties Through Community Involvement Spending time together outside the house makes a big difference. Volunteering, joining a community garden, or just showing up for local events brings everyone closer and makes life feel more connected. Even simple things like a walk in the park, an outdoor movie, or helping out at a charity event can turn into great memories. Getting involved in the community doesn’t just strengthen family bonds—it also makes home feel like part of something bigger. 

Living in a multi-generational home means balancing independence and connection. The ultimate goal is to blend tradition with modern comforts while making room for both personal space and shared moments. The proper design, a little smart tech, and quality time together can help create a home that works for everyone. It’s no longer just a house when each person feels valued and supported—it’s a home where everyone can truly thrive.  

Navigate the challenges of caring for aging loved ones confidently—visit AgingParents.com for expert advice, compassionate support, and practical tools to bring peace to your family today.

Image via Freepik

 

Happy New Year 2025!

Another new year is upon us. Happy New Year 2025! I hope you all had Happy Holidays whatever you celebrate and are settling in to more normal times. The news was scary yesterday with the terrorist attack in New Orleans and the explosion of the Tesla truck in Las Vegas in front of Trump Tower. I hope this is not an indication of how 2025 is going to go!!! Hoping for a much more peaceful year throughout the world!

Dealing with aging relatives and being sandwiched between caring for them and your growing children and or grandchildren presents enough challenges and issues! Please be sure to take time for YOU! Make that one of your goals, intentions,  and even resolutions for this new year. Resolutions tend to fade quickly as a new year presents itself, so I really tend to push the ideas of goals and intentions. These you can revisit daily, weekly or monthly and make them actually happen! Self care is so very important as you cannot give from an empty well.You must take time out and do something to replenish your strength and energy! 

One way of working on self-care is to journal about your experiences. Journals can be private and personal or you can choose to share them with your trusted humans. They often carry a connotation of being something more complex that you may feel you do not have time for with your overwhelming responsibilities. But might I suggest an easy one for you...

I needed something short and simple for myself and from my memory banks as a nurse I dug out some ideas to design my own. Something that I have always suggested to new and seasoned nurses is to write down those moments with patients that make your day. Of course nurses have to be acutely aware of confidentiality and HIPAA regulations, so we have to get creative about capturing the moment and keeping the details secret. I hope I have made a journal that could work for you as well. 

There are plenty of pages for each month of a calendar year. Each month there is one page for jotting down Daily Gratitudes. Just a word or phrase that makes sense to you. 

Then there a few lined pages for the month to write a few short sentences or paragraphs about good memories as they happen. One thing I know for certain about caring for my aging parents and in-laws as well as adult children and grandchildren is that during overwhelming and stressful time, you don't remember things as clearly. Some of the great moments might be in there somewhere, but my brain seems like it lost them. Taking just a few minutes before bedtime even just to write down a few cryptic notes helps me hang on to things I do remember from the past as well as new memories from each day. 

Journaling can actually help you to relax and release tension, stress and emotions. It can also help you to brainstorm and find solutions, and share the successes you have experienced in dealing with aging parents. Bookmark important passages so you can look back and see how well you have managed the journey, important memories, and tips for making your journey easier!

My Self-Care Journal is available on Amazon.com in paperback format. The price was recently reduced. If you make a purchase, I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd come back and write a quick review. Or drop a comment here. And of course share the link with someone you know who could use some self-care too! 

Here's to a more stress-free new year!

Happy 2025!

 

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Exploring ECDOL: A Comprehensive Senior Resource Webpage and Living Directory

ECDOL stands for Excellent Care, Decency, & Optimal Living. We aim to help seniors and their families find the most reliable and appropriate independent living, assisted living, and home healthcare options. Family and seniors can access an extensive directory to choose their state and find senior living options and by province in Canada. Our directory includes contact information for facilities in your region so you can quickly contact a senior care provider to see if they are the right fit for you or your aging loved one. We also include services provided, amenities, and housing features for each facility. We believe it is crucial to have reliable and accurate resources. Finding the right senior living and caregiving options can be challenging, and we want to help seniors and families make informed decisions.  

ECDOL's Senior Resources 

There is a range of resources available on the ECDOL website. Initially, the directory details some of the senior living and caregiving options available in each state. We describe the different types of senior living and healthcare options in the United States. Our helpful resources for aging adults provide valuable insight into what seniors may struggle with and offer practical tips and information. We want to support seniors and their families with up-to-date information to help them make informed decisions. The navigation is user-friendly; everything can be reached with one mouse click. The resources offer detailed information. 

 Senior Living Directory on ECDOL  

The senior living directory gives a brief introduction for each state. It also lists different independent living and assisted living communities in the state. Each listing provides information on the types of services provided, the amenities available, and the different housing options. When using the directory, it’s a good idea to have an idea of what state would be considered or a city or community within the state. It’s also ideal to know what type of care options are needed and begin contacting facilities. There are numbers listed on the directory, along with services, amenities, and housing features. All of this information helps to make an informed decision. Personalizing search options like this helps families find the right options based on location, amenities, and care needs.  

Highlighted Resource: Seniors Guide to Fentanyl 

 Our Seniors Guide to Fentanyl is a printable three-fold pamphlet that offers an understanding of fentanyl, its threat, and how to have conversations with adult children and grandchildren. The fentanyl epidemic has shown no signs of slowing down, and it has impacted every age demographic. As the population ages, an increasing number of older adults will be affected by problematic opioid use and opioid use disorders. Studies have shown that substance use among older adults is a concern that is often under diagnosed. The prevalence of opioid use disorders among older adults tripled from 2013 to 2018. While the rates of diagnosed opioid use disorders are relatively small among older adults, exposure is not uncommon. The Seniors Guide to Fentanyl aims to provide valuable information, tips, and resources to help seniors and their families. This includes tips for recognizing the signs of fentanyl use, having conversations with grandchildren, and how to speak to adult children about fentanyl.  

Conclusion  

Overall, ECDOL wants to empower seniors with information they can use to make informed decisions. We want to help families and their older loved ones with accurate and current information they can use to find the very best senior living and caregiving options. We want to encourage everyone who visits the website to use the directory, explore the resources, and read the information. We strive to keep information current and examine what problems impact seniors. Educational information plays a vital role in supporting the well-being of anyone. We believe it can be particularly valuable for seniors and their families. It’s important for anyone who visits this website to come to a point where they can make informed decisions that benefit themselves and their families. 

 

What Options Do I Have When My Loved One is Suddenly Hospitalized and Cannot Return Home?

I've seen so many social media posts lately asking about what to do with their loved one who is in the hospital and really should not return to their own home. The first step should be to contact the Case Manager (CM) or discharge planner, as we called them in the "Olden Days." If you don't know who that is, ask the nurse taking care of your loved one. S/he can arrange for the CM to contact you. Then you can begin discussing options and short and long term plans for your loved one. 

Is Rehab Care an option? 

Possibilities may include some rehab time in a skilled nursing facility where they will get nursing care along with daily physical and perhaps occupational therapy to follow up from the hospital plan. Speech therapy is another rehab service that your loved one might require in the event of a stroke or other speech or swallowing disruption.  The attending physician must order this, your loved one must meet certain criteria such as having real rehab potential. Be prepared for resistance because your loved one "just wants to go home." Discuss the benefits to them and to you and investigate your options.

Medicare will pay up to 100 days per calendar year for rehab stay after a qualifying 3 day hospitalization. This is typically for patients who have suffered an injury with or without fractures, a stroke, surgical interventions, and/or de-conditioning due to a hospital stay for an illness such as COVID or pneumonia. Eligibility requirements must be met. The rehab only continues if your loved one makes measurable progress towards goals. Another CM will follow your loved one through the rehab process at the facility. This is usually the social worker or other designated person at the facility. Ask who will be assisting with review of your loved one's case. Be sure to meet with them at admission and discuss your goals, concerns and needs so they can be assessed and worked on while your loved one is in the facility and not the day before, or of, discharge!

Home Health Care Option 

Another option is to take your loved one home either to your home or to their own home with a caregiver. The CM should have helped and advised you to find, and hire said caregiver. Or you or a friend or relative may choose to be the caregiver at least for the time being. In addition, your loved one’s primary physician should order home health care visits from a nurse and any necessary therapists to evaluate the living situation, home safety issues, instruct in medications, provide any nursing care such as wound care, and therapists will provide a home exercise program for rehabilitation purposes. 

Home health agencies may also offer services from a home health aide for personal care and hygiene, and a social worker for assistance with short and long term care planning. Understand first and foremost that the home health care professionals do not substitute for caregivers. Home health care is not a caregiving solution. Custodial care is not covered by Medicare or insurances. 

These services are intermittent visits from nurses, therapists, aide, or social workers. Medicare and private insurances cover the service. There may be a copayment as well as limitations as set by the insurance carrier. The primary requirement is for your loved one to require SKILLED care from a licensed healthcare provider (nurse or therapist) and make measurable gains towards goals. If the skilled care need ends or patient meets goals, or stops making progress, the home health care will be discontinued. It’s not designed to be a long term process or solution. The main goal of home health care is to teach the patient and caregiver how to provide the care necessary and discharge. 

The nurses, therapists and aides will make visits that typically last 30-60 minutes and are usually spaced 1-3 times a week, depending on the skill and needs. As a home health nurse, many times I found patients expecting me to be a companion or a personal caregiver when I arrived. I was greeted with expectations and assignments such as washing dishes, washing out underwear, or vacuuming. Indeed, these were needs, but they don’t require the education and skill of an RN to perform. While I usually tried my best to help that one time, not every nurse will do this, and it is not to be expected! 

Role of the Home Health Nurse

The role of the home health nurse is to be the eyes and ears for the physician, to assess the home situation for safety and whether it meets the level of care the patient requires. The RN will assess vital signs including any pain or other signs or symptoms, discuss nutrition, assess hygiene needs, and medication compliance and understanding. If the patient requires and specific treatments such as wound care, the nurse will perform and instruct the patient and/or any willing and able caregiver in how to perform and what to report to the MD. The nurse will report to the physician and discuss any additional care needed such as Physical. Occupational or Speech/Language therapy and a home health aide or social worker. The nurse and the patient and family will work together to establish a plan of care and work together to achieve goals to make the patient as independent as possible with the best possible quality of life. 

 Resources 

You will find many posts on this blog about finding and hiring care givers and where to find assistance to pay for it. Search in the box at the top on the Left sidebar. Check with your CM at the hospital, and if ordered, your home health social worker. Local chapters for disease specific organizations such as Alzheimer’s, Cancer, Lung Diseases, Heart Disease, and others can give you direction and resources. Your local senior citizens agency. The Veteran’s association is a great resource if your loved one served in the armed forces during a war such as WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, or Afghanistan, but use the official organization. Many home health agencies may often have a private duty care division to meet your caregiving needs. This would be private pay as well.

 

 

Make Sure EOL Wishes Are Known!

I am currently a party to a situation where a relative has died and left no instructions, will or trust. It's sad because no one knows if the person wants to be cremated or buried. We don't know if there's a paid plot or cremation service. Even moving his remains from the county morgue has been an ordeal. Make sure your EOL wishes are known!

This person was found dead in a wellness check that a neighbor called for. The coroner was called. So fortunately, there was  no need for medical advice or attempts at resuscitation. But had s/he been found alive, apparently not having a Power of Attorney for Healthcare would have been an issues had s/he not been able to voice choices at the time. 

Missed Opportunities- Don't Delay Decisions

In this situation, the person had begun vague discussions about EOL wishes, but was only seeking preliminary information. No discussion happened regarding a health care power of attorney, burial wishes or any plans already in place, and certainly not wishes for division of the estate. S/he became totally overwhelmed with the little information provided and wasn't able to complete even the simplest of tasks. So now, we're caught starting from scratch. Of course there is some money involved and that will bring out the worst in some of the relatives no doubt. 

This matter has been, and will continue to be very sticky. It will be a long, drawn out process. Just hoping for no objections and in-fighting about what actually happens now. It has already taken significant time and that will impact some of the first decisions. These situations are not rare and my hope is that you will each resolve these items before it become a sticky mess for you.

In my experience as a home health and hospice nurse for years, I have had to initiate the uncomfortable discussions all too often when time was of the essence. Death and dying is not a comfortable subject for everyday conversation, but the truth is we will all die at some point. Most of us may have strong feelings about burial vs cremation and whether or not to have a simple service, or a huge event. Some decisions are influenced by cultural beliefs and customs. No matter what the decisions, they will incur expenses that aren't always planned for or paid in advance. 

In this case, we have no idea if there were any plans and if any were prepaid. It will be a real shame if there were prepaid plans and we are unable to discover them. End-of-Life (EOL) Estate planning does not have to be complicated. 

Start with Simple EOL Decisions

If only the bare minimum of decisions are made and made known to multiple family members, it can be a great start and very helpful for navigating the more complex EOL issues. There are numerous EOL related legal forms and software on NOLO.com to help you understand and expedite the process. They also have books to guide the process, and a network of attorneys if you so choose. 

Probate attorneys can be your best friend, but be aware that they are expensive. Finding a probate attorney can be a long process as well. Probates can take 18 months to 2 years on average to complete and that's a big commitment for the legal team as well as the administrator or executor. 

I encourage you to begin the conversation in casual, comfortable situation. Ask simple questions about whether your loved one has even thought about what they would like done. Make sure EOL wishes are known!

• Do they want to be cremated or buried? Or have other ideas? Have they made any arrangements? Do the research. There are many affordable options that get overlooked when decisions have to be made on the spot. Or perhaps your loved one wants something lavish. Is there money set aside, or an insurance policy to cover these costs? 
• Have they considered how to disperse assets and any property or other  items? Having a living trust can make this all much easier than going to probate.
  
• Have they considered appointing a Power of Attorney for Health Care? 
• Have they thought about their EOL health care decisions? 

Other Things to Make this Easier

Other issues to get in order will include things like making a list of their bank account numbers and information, any investments, a list of property, and any wishes regarding who should inherit what. What to do with person effects. They don't have to share this, but put the information in a spot where it can be found when needed. 

There are procedures that can make things easier should they become incapacitated or pass away such as adding your name to their accounts so that a smooth transition can be made. For instance, adding your name to your loved one's utility accounts can make it easier to make changes such as shutting service off or transferring it to your name, Also have them make sure beneficiary information is up to date on policies such as insurance policies, retirement accounts like 401k's and any stocks or bonds and other assets.Consult an attorney for any questions you have to ensure it all gets done the way you want it.

While you're helping your loved ones make these decisions and completing forms, check out the forms and processes you need for your estate as well. 

 

 

5 Plus Tips for Dealing with Your Aging Loved One's Pets

How do you deal with pet care issues when your aging loved one is losing the capacity to care for them? And the eventuality of a permanent new home.This can start with needing assistance with feeding, walking and cleaning up after the pet. It can also affect the finances of your loved one. Do they need assistance paying for food or medications? Does the animal need expensive medical attention? There are volunteers to assist with some of these tasks, and local vets often offer discounts and assistance for seniors. The unconditional love and affection as well as emotional support of pets can be most beneficial to your aging loved ones and maintaining these relationships for as long as possible is important.

Like any other part of their lives, you will need to incorporate the pet care issues into your overall plan for transitioning your loved ones through the late stages of their lives. Doing what's best for everyone is always a priority, but there may be some very difficult decisions to be made.The goal is to make this process as painless as possible.

In most instances pets are considered family and the commitment is real. This is the ideal scenario when adopting a pet and needs to be considered when it comes time to making new arrangements. Decisions must be well thought out and aimed at the best possible solutions. As you know already, or will discover with this journey, things can change on a dime and the plan must flex. You always need to have Plan B in the back of your mind.

Options to consider:

1. One of the best solutions would be to be able to absorb the pets into your own life or perhaps the life of another close relative or close family friend. If the pet is familiar with the people and the environments, it can ease their transition and potentially eliminate future problems. This is not always possible for any number of reasons. If this is the solution you have in mind, always keep pace with any changes that can affect the plan. This could include, the adoption of other pets, change in housing situations that might prevent them from incorporating the pets into their household and lifestyle, changes in health status of the potential new caretaker. 
2. Explore other options to re-home the pets through breed or non-breed rescue organizations and determine their availability, their rules and specifications, and an idea of how quickly they can help make the move possible. Again you'll need to keep pace with any changes in their situations. Never assume that it'll be your option months down the line. 
3. Contact local veterinarians for resources and ideas on where and how to find help with caring for a pet and when the time comes, help to best re-home you loved one's pets.  Keep in mind that it's always a good idea to ask a re-homing fee to ensure the pets are wanted and being committed to and not being lured into nefarious situations. This can be discussed further once you've decided on a new home and feel confident it's a good situation, but don't advertise as "Free to good home."
   
4. Post your needs situation on local social media sites such as the Next door app or local Facebook groups to see what interest you can elicit.  Be aware that this won't be the most popular move with some. You'll get criticism, but there may be that one gem who is looking for a new companion and you just touched their heartstrings. 
5. If your loved one is on home health or hospice services, explore pet care or placement assistance with them. Some agencies run a foundation to assist with pet care and placement. The social workers at these agencies are usually a wealth of information and resources to help you find a solution. 

When exploring assisted living facilities, check whether pets can be housed with your loved ones. Most don't accommodate this, but some do. However, it might only be for cats, or you'll be expected to pay for extra services to feed and care for the pets.  

Make sure the pet's vaccines and licenses are up to date and you disclose any health conditions to the potential adopter, rescue or shelter.

As a least desirable option, a no-kill shelter surrender may be necessary. 

Additional options can include a trust fund set up by your loved one to help pay for feeding and and medical care for the animals. This can be helpful for anyone willing, but hesitant because of the financial commitments. 

Most importantly, planning for this eventuality is a must to help make the heart wrenching transition smooth and successful for all.

For additional reading:

https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/need-find-your-pet-new-home

https://www.petfinder.com/pet-adoption/dog-adoption/dog-rehoming/

 Photos from Deposit Photos 

 

 

 

Getting Older and Need a New House? Consider These Tips and Features

Source - Unsplash

 

If you are older and you are looking for a home, or you are younger and you want to find the perfect house to grow old in, then there are certain aspects that you will want to consider. Making the right choices ahead of time is essential, so you don’t have to fret later on. Here at About Aging Parents, we love to help our loved ones live their best lives, so we have some tips and considerations to make when looking for a new home for your older years.

 

Put Serious Thought Into Your Budget and Mortgage Payment

 

As you get older, you may find that you have less money than you did in your younger years, so you will need to take a close look at your budget to ensure that you will be able to afford a potential home as money gets tighter.

 

One way that you can stay educated is by going online and using an affordability calculator to enter in the potential cost of the home, your down payment, and the current interest rate so you can see what your mortgage payment will look like. Use that information to determine what you can afford now as well as your other expenses going forward.

 

Get a Home Inspection and Consider a Home Warranty

 

As the years go by, it will naturally become harder to make the home repairs that you used to make as a youngster. Since you never know what issues you could have, it is a good idea to consider a home warranty. A warranty can help you to pay for appliances and home systems that either break or require maintenance.

 

Before you apply for any home warranty, find out if it's worth it by having a home inspection completed, where you can learn about all of the weak points in your home. If there are a lot of red flags, then you should seriously consider going for the home warranty. An inspection that shows major issues like foundation problems or extreme termite damage should get your attention, and you may want to second-guess buying the house in the first place.

 

A One-Story House May Be Best

 

Although many of us like to think that the bigger the house is, the better, you need to think about the future. If you are getting older, then you may want to buy a one-story house. With less square footage, a one-story home is likely to be less expensive than a larger property.

 

On top of that, you will need to think about how easy it will be for you to walk and get around when you get older. A one-story home will have the kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom all on the same floor, so you won’t have to worry about navigating stairs if you depend on a cane or walker later in life. You would have the option of installing a stair lift, but that can be an expensive endeavor, and you may not have adequate funds down the road.

 

Make Sure You Can Install Accessibility Options

 

While we all hope to be in perfect health for the rest of our lives, that is not always possible. If you believe you will have issues with mobility, then you will want to ensure that you can install items in your home to help you out. For instance, you may need to have a ramp added to the front of your house at some point. You may also require the need of safety bars and slip-resistant flooring in order to navigate the kitchen and bathrooms. While some of these options are easy to install, you will want to ensure that your potential home has the necessary space available.

 

As you can see, there are many features that you should look for in a potential home. The main takeaways are to heavily consider a home warranty, use a mortgage calculator to determine your costs, and think about the benefits of a one-story house. With all that said, we wish you luck. If you would like to learn more about our services at About Aging Parents then please check out our website.

 

This is a guest post from Theresa McArthur.

"Theresa McArthur knows firsthand that the life changes we encounter as we age can be difficult to navigate. From taking care of your health and choosing from numerous insurance options to deciding where you’ll spend your golden years and detailing your end-of-life wishes, the decisions that come along with aging can be overwhelming. She created Guides for Seniors so there would be plenty of information available to guide seniors through these processes and bring them peace of mind."

 Thanks Theresa for a great article!

  

 

Never Forget --Always in Our Hearts!

5 Home Modifications Every Home Should Have to Accommodate Aging in Place

Whether you're in your early 60s or entering retirement, there's a good chance you'll want to age in place. That means remaining in your home and modifying it as needed to accommodate any physical changes that come with aging and increase safety for senior living. 

Unfortunately, your home may need to be modified for several reasons, including changes to your vision, hearing, and mobility. For example, going up and down the stairs could become more difficult, or you may find yourself fumbling for the light switch more often. 

Luckily, you can make many simple modifications to your home to ensure a safe and comfortable environment for years to come! In this article, we will list some essential home modifications for aging in place. 

While some of these changes may seem small, they can have a significant impact on your quality of life. We've put together a list of five home modifications every home should have to accommodate aging in place.

Grab bars and Walk-in tub

Grab Bars 

The first modification you should consider is installing grab bars in your bathroom. As we age, our balance can change, and it can become more challenging to stand up from a sitting position. Grab bars provide excellent support and stability for getting in and out of the shower or bathtub and can help prevent dangerous falls and injuries. Grab bars are also relatively inexpensive and easy to install. You can find them at most home improvement stores or order them online. 

Raised Electrical Outlets 

Another substantial modification is to install raised electrical outlets. It can become more difficult to bend down and reach for things on the floor due to changes in mobility. Raised electrical outlets make it easier to plug-in appliances and electronics and help prevent falls. They are also safer because they reduce the risk of electrical shock.

Stair Lift

 Stair lifts

If your home has stairs, another modification is installing a stair lift. Stair lifts provide a safe and easy way to get up and down the stairs and can significantly improve your mobility if you have difficulty climbing stairs. Stairs are dangerous for seniors and can be very difficult to navigate if you have limited mobility. A stair lift can give you the independence to move around your home without fear of falling. 

 

Walk-In Tubs 

Another modification to consider is installing a walk-in tub. Walk-in tubs are designed for people with limited mobility and can make bathing much safer and more accessible. Walk-in tubs also have a lot of beneficial features, such as built-in seats, grab bars, and non-slip surfaces. They are an excellent investment for anyone looking to age in place. They're also excellent for hydrotherapy and can help with pain relief. They're also easy to clean and maintain. Although they may be expensive, they are worth the investment. 

Ramps 

Finally, you may also consider installing a ramp if you have steps leading into your home. Ramps help provide an easy way to get in and out of your home and can help prevent falls. Depending on your needs, you can place them either inside or outside your home. There are many different types of ramps available, so be sure to do your research to find the best one for you. 

Wrapping Up 

What we listed above is just a glimpse of the many modifications you can make to your home to accommodate aging in place. By making these simple changes, you can ensure a safe and comfortable environment for years to come. Home modifications are meant to help you age in place and live independently for as long as possible. With home modifications, you can help prevent falls and injuries in your house. These changes can also help you save money in the long run. If you're considering making any modifications to your home, be sure to consult with a professional to ensure they are done safely and correctly. 

Author Bio David Clark:

David Clark is the CEO of Basement Guides with several years of experience in basement-related problems and home safety. He has written and published many resources and guides related to senior home safety, grants, and home modifications. David is currently working to spread the word about senior home safety and health through resourceful guides and articles.

 

Thanks David for a great article!

Disclosure: AboutAgingParents.com participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

 

Photos from DepositPhotos. 

  

 

Hope Springs Eternal: Navigating Life as Newlyweds in Your Golden Years

 

While it’s never too late to enjoy the pleasures of wedded bliss in your latter years, it’s important to remember that you and your new spouse face different obstacles to those of a young married couple. It’s not every night you can have a date at the ballpark, seeing the World Champion Atlanta Braves or saying “LA Dodgers here we go”. Senior marriage is a challenge but, with a plethora of life experiences backing you both, there’s every hope that you can converge onto one path and have plenty of fun in the process. About Aging Parents has a few pointers on how to navigate your new life together.

 

Find the Right Home

 

Physical limitations are an inevitable part of aging and it’s important to keep this in mind if you’re selecting a new home. If you aren’t sure whether to rent or buy, consider the pros and cons of both options as they relate to your lifestyle—it can be a lot of hassle purchasing a property if you like to travel or think you might move again in the near future. On the other hand, if you choose to make an existing property your marital home, This Old House explains that it’s possible to modify this to provide improved accessibility in the years to come.  

 

Maintain Your Property

 

Whether you’ve chosen to rent or buy your home, it’s more than likely that routine maintenance will be needed from time to time. To avoid potential injuries that may be harder to recover from as you age, it’s best to contract a service provider to assist you with regular tasks such as gutter cleaning.

 

Blocked drains can lead to flooding during rainy seasons, so in order to avoid any potential catastrophes, ensure that you’re dealing with professionals and vet the service provider of your choosing by checking their ratings and reviews. Not only will a good contractor be able to fix any existing problems, but they’ll also alert you to any potential issues that may arise in the near future. 

 

Combine Finances

 

Your financial status in your latter years can look vastly different from when you were in your 20s, so combining finances might be a little more complex too. During this process, it’s advisable to double-check that your insurance policies are up to date and that you’ve updated your emergency contact details wherever necessary.

 

Whether you’ve retired already or intend on doing so in the near future, Capital Group notes that you’ll want to be sure that you are making wise financial investments that will cover you and your spouse in the event of disability or serious illness. If the decision to move one or both of you to a skilled nursing facility or nursing home should arise, have a plan in place for this scenario as early as possible. This begins with researching what facilities are in your area, then narrow your search by visiting your top choices and asking about what services are offered.

 

Estate Planning

 

It’s natural that you’ll want to include your new spouse in your will so that they are taken care of in the event of unforeseen circumstances. Contracting an attorney that specializes in estate planning will make it easier to remain prepared for the future. Living wills are an uncomfortable but necessary topic and talking about them will ensure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to the sensitive matter. Since we cannot be certain of when accidents or illnesses could happen, it’s vital to have these conversations as early on in your marriage as possible.

 

Starting a marriage in your latter years can feel like a wild adventure, but don’t forget to be mindful of the practical things as you’re enjoying your new married life. Taking care of the nitty-gritty details sooner rather than later will leave you with peace of mind and a smoother shared tomorrow.

 

This article is brought to you by About Aging Parents. For more information, contact us today!

 

Guest post by Millie Jones from SeniorWellness.info

 

Photo by Kampus Production via Pexels